first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
