this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
