hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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