i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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