you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
