Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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