First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
