There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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