Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Randomize
