I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
