Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he was CRYING into my vagina
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
