Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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