I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
