Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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