Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
