Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize