so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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