I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
