I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
