So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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