i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
