you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
