You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
