I bet he comes in French.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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