I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
