Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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