All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
