Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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