His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize