if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
