I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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