WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
