maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
