I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
