I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
