I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
