you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She made me pour olive oil on her.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
