Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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