No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
