I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize