good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
