cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
