I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
