he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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