He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
