from now on my penis is your penis
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
