Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You were trust falling into bushes
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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