Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize