I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
