Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
