3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
