No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
