That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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