dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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