So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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