I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
