I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
