Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
