the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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