what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
