Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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