Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
