Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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