Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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