Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
