he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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