I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
