that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
