So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dignity is for republicans.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We have started to decorate penises.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize