She's JV to your varsity
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Duck Duck Cougar?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
