mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
