go do what you do best...puke behind churches
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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