The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
