He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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