shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
