I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
