ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
