so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
