He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
from now on my penis is your penis
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
