So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
