I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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