okay pat passed out under dana's car
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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