Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
