and you said cock pushups were impossible
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
