need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
