She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
